You Know You're A Drag Racing Addict When... (1 Viewer)

yoda

Nitro Member
For those of you that haven't seen it!

You know you’re a drag racing addict when:


You have two dogs at home named "Snake" and "Mongoose.

You want to have kids just so you can run a Jr. Dragster.

You know more about a driver’s career than his wife does.

Your weed wacker was blueprinted by Keith Black.

You put a 60-foot launch pad in your backyard instead of a pool.

After your garage door opens, you "stage" and wait on the tree before pulling out.

After one pass around the yard on your lawn mower, you read the plug and “fatten ‘er up".

During the winter, you roll the windows down just to smell the tire smoke from skidding tires.

You can't remember your spouse's birthday, but you know the e.t. and speed records in every professional class.

You think the purpose of wings is to prevent flight.

You catch yourself saying, "I wish stoplights would flash yellow before they turn green." That way, you could get a better reaction time.

You know Hookers are headers.

You memorize the Summit and Jeg's catalogs, so you can build your dream car in your mind when you're bored.

"Going to the lanes" means getting ready to race, and not going to roll some stupid heavy ball down a wood floor to knock down pins.

Your home page is set at NHRA.com or NitroMater.com.

When introducing your family, you refer to them as your “crew members."

You see burnout marks in the pavement, and try to determine how serious a car it was by the length and width of the stripes. Then you say, ”I could’ve done better.”

You refer to a cold day as "fast air."

While you’re squirting dish soap in the sink, you're thinking about priming the injector.

When you joined AARP. you got mad because they didn't send you a pin, a patch, a rule book, or 48 issues of anything.

You talk in your sleep, and your wife wakes you up in the middle of the night and wants to know who Shirley, Connie, and Ashley are.

You describe someone who's upset as being "on the chip" or "on the tire."

You use the emergency brake handle as the "hand brake" while inching up at a stoplight, pretending your staging.

You send a monthly letter to the city council asking it to move the traffic
lights to street level, because looking up at them is messing up your reaction time.


You are more enthusiastic about getting your National DRAGSTER in the mail than a check.

You don't know that Richard Nixon was from Yorba Linda, California, but you do know that John Force is.

You'll spend $300 for a single slick, but you won't spend more than $150 for four new tires on your daily driver.

You run your daily driver’s tires at 6 psi.

You have a shift light in your minivan.

You call the freeway off-ramp the "shutdown area."

You refer to your local Drag Strip as "The happiest place on earth"

While you're shopping for underwear, you find yourself looking for an SFI tag.

You know that all the things they claimed to do to that car in the show Grease can't really be done at the same time.

You drive 350 miles to your sister’s, just because there is a drag strip 20 miles from her house.

You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.

When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.

You bought a race car before buying a house.

You're looking for a tow vehicle, and still haven't bought furniture.

You have enough spare parts to build another car.

More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice, and greets you by name when you call.

You save broken car parts as "momentous."

You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas, but doesn't particularly care for alcohol.

The local police department, sheriff’s office and state highway patrol have pictures of your car taped to their dashboards.

Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.

After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation, she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"

You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.

You are the type of person who goes crazy when you have to sit in a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours in the staging lanes. Every stoplight becomes a practice tree, to test your ability to tree the guy in the other lane's eyes out.

You wash your car like it was your first-born child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family--then you drive it like you stole it.

When someone asks your weight, you tell them the weight of your car with and without a driver.

You go to the Drag Strip on your first date. True love would be if she
suggested it. That's when you find an old beer tap ring and propose.

You can find your way to any drag strip, but get lost going to your in-laws.

You refer to a "Diaper" as an absorbent blanket used to contain oil and
parts in case of a blown engine. Not something you put on a baby, even though they both contain similar stuff.
 
After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation, she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"


You can find your way to any drag strip, but get lost going to your in-laws.

Several vacations centered around racing.


Haven't gotten lost going to a track yet...in-laws, another story.
 
You see burnout marks in the pavement, and try to determine how serious a car it was by the length and width of the stripes. Then you say, ”I could’ve done better.”

I do that everytime I see burnout marks in the street!

After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation, she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"

Ha ha ha! I have been to Vegas one time in my life. 1985. I swore I'd never go back, and never have. A few years ago, when one of the Vegas races was the same weekend as our wedding anniversary, I suggested we celebrate in Vegas. It took her about 30 seconds to figure that one out.
 
Lots of good ones there. Some I've seen before and some that appear to maybe be your originals!

This made me google. One of the magazines years ago had a page describing the kind of real estate a racer would look for. Priorities such as trailer parking, RV hookups, etc. The last item was "some sort of house." :D

LOL, I'm one guy currently living in a five bedroom house due only to the amount of garage space I was able to get! :D A half basement/garage, a big, two car wide carport, a nice detached garage, and two detached metal single car garage sized storage sheds.

Someone posted a photo of my front yard on the internet recently. :D

funny cars
 
Last edited:
thanks martin, you made my day with those. And barry, yours had me headed for the floor. Laughing. We are where we are because of the size of the pole-barn. That`s what we call em up here in the sticks. Now tell me, who wears the pants in this family. ugh-ugh. That`s tim allen. was`nt sure how to spell that noise he makes.
 
AR AR AR.

Saw a vanity tag like that once.

I LOVED Tim Allen's standup comedy work a couple of years before the TV show. His act was mostly based on men vs women humor and "rewiring" stuff to make it "better." :D
 
Lots of good ones there. Some I've seen before and some that appear to maybe be your originals!

Can't take credit for this one Ron... Although I can absolutly say that Number 2 completely applies in the Thomas house....:D

Thanks to Gina at JrDrags.com for the repost from another site :)
 
Here's the house bit.

- The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) Climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
6) Deaf neighbors.
7) Across the street from a paint and body shop.
8) Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property somewhere -or- hookups for the motorhome.
 
Ways To Support Nitromater

Users who are viewing this thread


Back
Top